In the Ivory Tower: When I am Called to Wait

A solitary silence presses upon my life. I hear the words whispered throughout moments and days: wait. It is a command I long to ignore, to turn my back upon, to abandon this tower. I rest in the window of my tower and gaze out upon the lives of others. Theirs are filled with colorful things, with such motion and noise. Still I sit in my tower and wait.

Waiting becomes irksome to us as humans. We detest such a command to wait. A young child, when told to wait to help himself to a piece of candy, will beg, whine, and weep with frustration. Do not we grown-ups do the same? We are called to wait; for marriage, for a car, for a job, for peace, for joy. Our response too often is to beat our fists upon the walls of our towers in rebellion.

I have found myself in the unique position of being commanded to wait, not merely in one respect, but in every respect.  I sit at the crossroads of my life and wait. For what? Some indication of which path to choose? For a tangible change in my life circumstances that forces me in one direction? 

Psalm 62:1 says, "For God alone my soul waits in silence; from him comes my salvation." I am waiting for God. I find it very interesting that we, as people called by God, are called to do things we are not capable of doing. No human's first inclination is to wait. Yet God commands us to wait, and not to wait for a clear indication of what we are to do. No, we are commanded to wait for Him to act. When I find myself flat on my back, helpless in the grip of my pain, I wait for God. When I find myself frustrated with the relationships that I have, the stagnation I perceive building up in them, I wait for God. When I feel the fist of despair grip my soul, when I'm caught in the throws of grief over my sin and over loss, I wait for God. The Psalmist says he waits on God in silence, "for my hope is from him" (verse 5). There is a silence, a peace, in waiting for God. We wait on God expectantly, not clamorously. There is a peace we have when we truly wait upon God. 

This peace stems from our hope in Him. If we are truly hoping in God, that He will answer and save, it is then that we have peace. God calls us to wait peacefully, expectantly upon Him at each crossroads in our lives. 

How can we, who are so impatient, wait patiently for God? God commands us to do what we cannot do, so that He might do it for us. 2 Corinthians 12:9 says, "he said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.' Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me." I am called to do what I cannot in my weakness fulfill, so that Christ may do it for me. I am called to be weak for the express purpose of showing his power. I am called to do that which I fail to do, so that His grace may abound. I am called to wait.