New Year, New Post

I know - before you begin scolding me- I'm terrible at maintaining this blog. My apologizing, though, must be even more irritating than my blog, so I will refrain from apologizing again should I wait a good six months before updating it again.

Since I am already four months into the new year, my title seems a bit obsolete. Titles seldom tell what actually happens in a story, though, and mine is no exception. I have learned quite a bit over these four months. It often happens that, when one learns new things, he must continue relearning them for a good while afterwards in order to keep them in mind. So, although I say I have learned a lot, I am still in the process of learning them still.
I have learned to say good-bye. No, not in the way most people think of it. It includes actual farewells to people, but that is not the only thing. I am learning to say good-bye to old habits and ancient sins. I have learned to part with people. It is painful; it hurts. Sometimes you feel like your heart is about to rip out by the seams, but you can do it. Your heart doesn't break and you're still standing on your feet in the end, even with all the pain that's rushing around inside you. I am not saying that I relish the idea of saying farewell again, but I am saying that I have, and I have learned the pain that comes of doing it.
As to saying farewell to old habits and sins - well, I'm still in the process of figuring that one out. God promises, though, that He will cleanse His people, and He will. That's what sanctification is all about. He never promised it would be easy. More times than not, I find myself failing. Those are the times when I must remind myself that it is the Holy Spirit that sanctifies. I do not. I cannot. God can, and He will.
This leads to another lesson I have learned: Never to trust in my own strength. This one is tough. A lot of times we pretend that we don't when really we do. We'd like to think we're trusting God. Phrases such as "God-willing," "If God wants to," and the like pass our lips when in our hearts we don't really mean it. In reality we mean, "God better want it because I want it." Then we accuse Him of being unfair when He changes our plans, when all along it was we who had strayed from His will.
Another lesson I have learned is to never doubt God's work in my life. My life is so easy and cushioned that He doesn't work in obvious ways, but He works in little ways, and those ways are just as awe-inspiring as the obvious ones. What do I mean by little ways? I mean having my sister say something to me and then reading it in my devotions the very next day. I mean being tired and worn out when taking a test and still passing it in the end. I mean the energy He gives so that I can complete just one more labor of love for my family. I mean the strength He gives me to press on even when I feel angry, worthless, and inadequate. There is nothing little about grace. There is only the way we see it. Do we see God's grace as something small and insignificant? Or is it something great and glorious that we cannot get enough of?
That is what I've learned over the past month, year, lifetime. I'm a rather poor student, but God is a most patient and longsuffering teacher.